You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Swine flu is the new snow day.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
soo... how was my night?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
