Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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