i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
a search helicopter?!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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