Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
