Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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