I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
