Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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