just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
