Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
