I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
