trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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