You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
