So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
