i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
