On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
