I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
