Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
