I hate your face
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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