ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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