There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
