So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
