I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
