i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
