i think my tv is drunk
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
