nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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