Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
