Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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