I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
