wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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