i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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