The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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