You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize