Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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