please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
