TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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