1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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