not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
