We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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