he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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