yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
