he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
