So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize