Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
