i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
