i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
