Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
