Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize