i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
