Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
