VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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