Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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