have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just gargled with NyQuil
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
