plz talk dirty to me
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
