Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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