New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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