I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
try to milk me bitch
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize