He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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