no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
