I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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