i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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